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Archive for November, 2008

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Its 2008, I guess…9/11 happened 7 yrs ago…wait a min has it been 3 yrs since the floods happened?…

 

15th for sure…month?…hmm…guess August…damn…he’s the best I have…I cant possibly forget the day he was given life…my best friend’s birthday …

 

 

We all have fears…fears hidden in the smallest part of our magnificent human brain…some fear death…some water…I always feared having a fear…I never had one, until the 15th of September 2008… Yes, I forgotI forgot to wish him…we all forget, I know we all do…many of us do have those ‘I-don’t know-why-I-entered-the kitchen’ moments…but there is much more to mine…at least my instinct says so…an instinct much sillier than I am…hyperbole probably…but fear it is…

 

I fear I might forget just about everything…everything…everything that existed by default in every human brain, everything I was taught, everything I learnt…My friends…My family…My brain pitch dark…

 

Face ita two word elucidation I was given to get rid of it…I couldn’t face mine till it came…and if it did, I had no other option but to live with it…so I put that Imaginative part of my brain to some labor…I did pretend I forgot about everything and everyone…and was surprised with  the outcome…an outcome that brought this guy to my notice…I realized the ‘Everyone’ part of it is not what terrified me…I have a really special set of friends and family…unusual and chosen people I am blessed with…a shock indeed for not fearing losing them…

 

Imagine yourself blank…New-born…well, almost…you know nothing…think of re-living the time you first met those important people in you life, people who eventually ended up making this big difference in your life…think of knowing the same people you loved…all over again…the first time is different…for me at least the initial phases of  all my relationships have been special…something that I would want to re-live…the first time I met my people…my first thoughts of them…the developments and progress of my equation with them…I always wanted to time travel to ‘The first’…and this fear in a sense proved to be a blessing…

 

Now what took me back was the fact that it was neither the ‘Something’ I feared losing…imagine not knowing what music is and listening to that lovely piece of music the first time, again…music that you always adored…picture you not knowing what the sun is…waking up one morning to see it rise…not knowing what movies are and watching that wonderful piece of art…I would have this big mystery called the ‘world’ in front of me and trying to figure it out would really excite me…

 

So what is it that I actually fear losing?…I thought of all the possible ‘Somethings’ and the ‘Someones’ too…and then there was this certain someone who never crossed my mind…I never thought I could lose him…and the very thought of losing him petrified me…an understatement…trust me…I spent years in trying to know that person…

De-mystifying his existence…a certain someone we all tend to ignore…a certain someone who appears in the mirror we see and in the reflections of the water…no matter what or who we come across, it’s ourself we spend all  our time with…and spend rest of our life too…I find it stupid when people say ‘they cant live without someone’…if that was the case god would have probably made you conjoined twins…there’s no loner in this world…he sent everyone a companion…not the ‘marriages are made in heaven’ ones…the ones we tend to overlook…

 

This fear thought me to take myself seriously…consider my existence…think about it…

I now pamper myself like I never did…I try not disappointing myself…I try my best not to lose me…I now have another addition to the list of ‘Special people in my life’-Myself !i just cant stay without myself…

 

Know thyself…It deserves a ‘Hi!’ too…

 

Well as far as the Title of the post goes…I Forgot…;)

 

 

 

 

 

 Narcissistic Eagle

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