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Vishwa cup.

If I’d ever have to christen the current phase that our nation is in, I’d clearly call it the “Phase of futile Enlightenment”.For it is only now when people realize that:

1-The Ronaldo they had been hearing for long is no more the Brazilian they thought of and belongs to some nation called Portugal.

2-Oh yes!Portuguese!The very country that sent Vasco mama on an expedition  and consequently added at least a nice 20 chapters to our School history syllabus.

3-USA and England can have different forces for a world event.

4-There is something left in Japan for humans to do.Thank God for that.

5-Maradona is not a typo.He is not a singer.

And now the last and the most important one.

6-For how long will we let countries like Argentina enjoy support of a nation 25 times more populous than theirs?Its high time India makes it to the World Cup.

This very question irks me.A lot more than even people playing Falguni Pathak to full volume on Chinese phones inside B.E.S.T buses.This post will discuss the two  inconsequential yet most prevalent questions of our generation:

1-Will India ever make it to the FIFA World Cup?

2-Is Football better than Cricket?

Before I can discuss answers, it is important to discuss two counter questions here:

1-Why should India make it to the FIFA World Cup?

2-Is there indeed a ‘better’ game among the two most popular sports on this globe?


Why should India make it to the FIFA World Cup?

This situation is wonderfully analogous to another problem within our nation.The ‘Mera Beta Engineer Banega’ Syndrome.Every mother wants their son to become an Engineer.Every mother.This in spite of knowing that majority of the nation’s engineers have a fate exactly as that of Chetan Bhagat.Still.

The FIFA ambition also reeks of a desperate need for Global acceptance.Here, we must remind ourself of people we may have come across, who in spite of a highly satisfying middle class Nokia 1100 capacity, choose to buy a fruity smart phone at an EMI of their half monthly salary just for the sake of social display.Although the same money could be well spent on repairing broken furniture at home.

We need to realize that India not making it to the FIFA World Cup should feature at point number 94 in the list of ‘ Top 100 Issues that Democratic India needs to address’.If even 5 of the top 93 points are discussed even half as frequently as point 94, I offer to watch any Harman Baweja movie.As many times as told.

Without featuring in the FIFA World Cup, India and China are probably the two most talked about nation in the global circle in a lot more ways than we may be aware of.So be it.

Is there indeed a ‘better’ game among the two most popular sports on this globe?

Is an Electronics Engineer better or a Computer Engineer?Is Don Bradman better or Pele? If there is anything that triggered this entire post, it is a highly obnoxious comment I saw on Harshad Deshpande’s Facebook status.I’d anyday preferred to have  read Pg 3 Bombay Times over it.It read “Footbal>>>>>>>>>Cricket”.Which is a very engineering way of saying ,Football is far more better than cricket.Mr Khamba has a thing for you here.

To each his own.There can *never* be a ‘better’ sport.Football is beautiful.Do not turn it into a slut.Test Cricket is Supreme sport.Trust me.Harsha Bhogle once wonderfully said and I quote :

“Test Cricket and Golf are beautiful because they are the only two sports in the world that give you a second chance.No other sport does.”

There is Good Cricket.Bad Cricket.Good Football Bad football.

There are way too many problems that dodge this nation.Football certainly not one.Do not disrespect a game.Especially if it is your nation’s only hope at achieving any sporting supremacy.

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As IPL commissioners come, tweet,  go &  the world very obliviously propels ahead in time, the timeless beauty of mythology just doesn’t cease to amuse.As a third year ‘Compooter’ Engineering student, and a very futile one that,  I find the sheer relevance of mythology brilliantly clever.Gone is the time when my only reverence for our epic myths were for the endless supply of holidays they provided and of course the ‘Paysam’  that Amma made during poojas.

Whether an elephant headed god actually existed will never attract my thinking.What concerns me is the story the elephant headed god says.Every character, every anecdote,every ritual has a spectacular revealing tale to tell.Far more than what a Justin Bieber or a Slutsvilla  participant can ever tell.

The Hindu concept of Karma claims that a person is forever entangled in the cycle of re-births.This is until the mere purpose of his life, of his existence, is realized.Hence, the subject is born, reborn and born again till he decodes his existence.The day he demystifies his purpose of existence, he is enfranchised from the cycle of births.

In my very first year of Engineering, I was subjected to this two letter phenomenon which emanates dread to every engineer, inverse to it’s character length.They call it a KT.For all non-engineering souls reading this (Who I suggest should pat themselves in the back right away, have a cheese burst and smile proudly) , when an engineering candidate is at the receiving end of the examiner’s menopause  mood swing or is randomly marked absent for a paper  which incidentally turns out to be the *only* paper he was *actually* prepared for (As in the non-chit wala, non-dependant-on-the next-roll-no-wala, no-scribbling-on-calculator-wala preparation) , or in simple words, he Fails, he is granted a KT.And unless the mere purpose of the subject is understood, and the candidate manages to get thorough the examiners’ menopause, that is he manages to Pass the subject , he has to attempt the subject over and over again.Till he understands the subject, its purpose.And once the understanding comes, the cycle of KT’s for the given subject ends.

Two other supremely beautiful characters in hindu mythology are sisters Laxmi and Alaxmi.Laxmi being the goddess of wealth and riches.Alaxmi, the elder sister being the exact contrast, goddess of filth, poverty and misery.Where Laxmi travels, comes along Alaxmi.Laxmi and Alaxmi exist in oneness.Always.Never seperate.Laxmi very obviously being the more popular figure, more on Alaxmi here.

Now moving from Engineering to a more pleasant phase of my life.Std 8.Science-1.Newton’s third law.

“For every action, there exists an equal and opposite reaction”.Or in other words, “For every Laxmi, there exists an equal and opposite Alaxmi”

And if you look around, you will find man as well as nature’s obsession with the above mentioned understanding.

Every ‘Log in’ button has to have an equivalent ‘Log out’ button.Every birth has to have a corresponding death.For every BE batch that leaves, there is a filling FE batch.For every sun rise, there has to be a sun set.Practically every system around follows this gorgeous maxim.

And I personally believe, the day there comes a system that defies the maxim, the system like the theory itself suggests, could either be an astounding success or a terrible failure.

Now by the time I figure out what I just wrote, I leave you with a video which perfectly summarizes Newton’s third Law :”For every Laxmi, there exists an equal and opposite Alaxmi”.Cheers.

Amongst the various prejudices I have to confront in this very elusive concept called society, one that I always found to be the most inconsequential is that about my weight.I now use this public forum (which, by the way has found yet another additional reader in my mouse pad) to come clean on this highly and quite literally ‘delicate’ topic.

1-I am almost thrice as tall as the worlds shortest man and 1/102 the weight of Pranav ‘pofama’ Rajgopal.This, in numbers comes up to a height of 6’2 ish and a weight of 60 Kilos.

2-What the numbers tell you is, that I am at least a nice 15 kilos underweight.A standard that a few good westerners decided upon, not considering Vegetarian Indians like me.

3-What they do not tell you is that in spite of failing to be qualified as ‘healthy’, the body has seldom fallen sick.Very Seldom, note that.

4-The body can eat twice as much Junk which includes a glorious Roadside menu of Rs 5/-  Egg omelette,  Rs 6/- Mango Milkshake,  Rs 10/- Panipuri and even a simple plate of nicely sliced Cucumber and Boiled potato from the friendly Sandwich wallah. Not to forget the sweat and the tasteful filth that comes along.All this with a clean Doctor- visits record.

5-I understand with a body like mine, finding a girl will be as humongous a task as Obama finding his almost namesake.I have quite gracefully accepted this reality.

Now coming back to my point of contention.

Do we realize that the concept of ‘Size Zero’ is probably the biggest scam of the decade?Every girl wanted a ‘Size Zero’.They guys complained.They wanted mass in their partners.The guys in return hit the gym.Some wanted to gain, Some wanted to lose.The winner though was clear.Gym owners, Gym trainers and Gym equipment manufacturers most of which belonged to the west.A brilliant concept earned them Trillions.

My respect for the west is for their sheer marketing skills.To bolster my point, let us consider this particular case study.We have for long grown up to the maxim ‘An apple a day keeps a doctor away‘.Little do we realize, that an Apple has probably lesser nutritional value than most of the other fruits.An Amla for that matter has 6 times the nutrition.But never will we see ‘An Amla prevents your body from any Hamla‘ as a part of our text books.Simply because an Apple primarily grows in the Europe and the USA who are far better at story telling than Indians where an Amla grows in abundance.

There is absolutely no point in following a fad.Applying one’s own thought will do a world of good.

Remember, there is  no harm in staying thin unless you personally think otherwise and the Amla ain’t a bad option after all.If you are an Indian, here is some incentive.The Amla is half as cheap as the Apple.

Ghanta Unnati..

Just when I thought India TV was the only reason that makes me wonder what a grand mess the world is in, I came across this highly amusing picture on an even supreme popular social networking site whose name I wouldn’t bother mentioning.This very sophisticated organization, quite imaginatively named ‘Unnati Classes‘,  has quite a revolutionary marketing strategy.Let us have a look at this path breaking ad before we can deliberate any further.

During all my childhood (which is still lasting and probably the longest childhood ever), parents used their bright child’s school results only to begrudge neighbors, whose child was relatively less bright.But with this beauty on top, my childhood is being questioned.Never before have I ever witnessed std 3 results being used with such glory.

Let me tell you what my crystal ball had to tell of these commodities’ future:

Row-wise from left..

1-Nikheel : Nikheel with a ‘ee’, quite innocently made the mistake of his life.The kid will now grow up not knowing what Commerce or Art means.Parents will have a tough choice to make between making him a doctor and an Engineer.They shall then try a white coat coat on him and conclude it suits him.And then we have Dr Nikheel in the making.

2-Ashish:Leave alone white coat, his parents are quite convinced there is nothing that will suit their ugly minor.They decide on an equally ugly field for him-Engineering.

3-Sahil: They say standing 2nd is the worst that can happen to anyone.With a troubled childhood already, Sahil will clearly grow up to become a Swinburn.

4-Sunny Yadav:A bhaiyya in convent school.Present screwed.Bhaiyya in Maharashtra.Future screwed.

5-Rakesh Talesha:I reserve my comments on him.He does not seem to be the kind I want to confront when I am 60.

6-Dhruv and Jatin will fight all their life over Priya.Their percentages drop in the preocess and they end up teaching at ‘Unnati Classes’ where Priya will play a receptionist.

7-Renita is a  catholic.She gets freedom of choice.She decides to throw it up.Ends up as an Air-hostess.

8-Abhishek:If you notice, Abhishek is looking elsewhere and completely forgot he was there to be photographed.Attention span of a mosquito.Potential neta material who conveniently forget promises.

9-Hrithik Roshan:With a name like that there is little chance he can escape from the typical bullies in school and college.Just hope God didn’t grant him 6 fingers.

Haven’t felt more sympathetic ever.This classes should be banned.Also, like they have advertising restrictions on builders, liquor and doctors, using std 3 kids (who should ideally be busy watching English cartoons atrociously dubbed into hindi) in such filthy campaign should face a big ban too.

To all Pradeep sirs, Sincere Request, Please stop this..

Blogs are beautiful.They speak.My not-very-important-yet existing-views on the wonderful Blog world around me.In order of Blogroll.Kindly sympathize with the hapless and dyslexic me in case I missed any.Also do not hesitate mentioning.

Abhishek Kedia

This particular one has really caught my very scatterbrained attention and is potential furore creating material.It reminds me of this wonderful piece of art quite cleverly named Gunda, an epic Indian movie that has quite deservingly achieved cult status in recent times and huge fans in me and my highly civilized group of friends.The movie boasts of supremely creative dialogues like ‘Naam hai Bulaa, Rakhta hoon hamesha Khulla’ (This one being the least explicit and the U/A category ones that could find place here.)

I quite strongly profess this one. ‘L*nd ki prarthna’, ‘Hawas ki pyaas’ & ‘Neeraj Maurya is a massive stupid fuck’ (Neeraj Maurya only being his subject teacher) being my favourite.

The soul also writes very serene stuff which is quite the seconadry reason for me liking his blog.Great going da!

A very Nice read 🙂

Ashmita Sengupta

Bong Blog! I like calling this.A very Rock N roll blog.Something striking about this one is that there is hardly any randomness.Almost every post is triggered.Music being the inspiration more often that not, so it somehow manages to take you into the mood of the writer.And yes I believe Ashmita Sengupta is a very nice name to have.(Nikita Shanbaug and Daksh Randheria still top the list of the coolest names though )

Brett Fernandes

I remember when I was in FE, Brett quite regularly came up with updates and probably my acquaintance with blogging happened then.Nice Randomness his blog has.It reads from football to comic strips to videos and some real strong personal rants.A very interesting read especially when I do not talk to the person so often and in detail.He should resume very soon.

Dimple Nangia

I can hear the writer literally speaking out while reading her posts.Same writing and speaking standard she has.An eclectic collection of quotes, Calvin N hobbes strips, Videos, Poems, some really interesting observations and an extremely nice habbit of regular updates makes this blog one of the nicest reads around.

Foram Tambawala

Still in it’s infancy.Seems to be typical chirpy and smiley Foram blog :).Hope to see more and regular reads from her.Cheers!

Harshad Deshpande

GS Saheb has a very nice and simple blog which makes it a very pleasant read.One doesn’t really have to exercise much.His writing truly symbolizes what I think of the general Marathi Manoos.Supremely Simple.Real Fun.Hassle free.Not highly anmbitious and very rightly so.What in mind is out too, although he can’t really afford to do that at this point of his life.How we wish he could :P.

Busy fellow should resume soon.

PS:Is the only Third Year blog-spot blogger I guess.

Chinmay Kamat

A veteran.Highly controlled, responsible and supreme blogging.He has this very acute sense of understanding which quite bolsters his creativity.Also has a very intersting life to rant about.

The writer has a domain name quite pompously named after him to his claim and is desperately seeking a 2 letter domain.I hope he ends up getting one eventually as long as it doesn’t hamper his writing.Cheers da!

Kirti Khopkar

The blog is exactly what the peron is about.A very empathizing and filled with ‘This is so much what I think ‘ posts.Very interactive.Some really great poems and fiction pieces there.

Pranav Rajgopal (Pofama)

For those unaware, I have created what I believe has the potential of becoming the ‘Brand of the decade’.Pofama: Perinially Offended FAt MAn.

Filled with such exhilaration when the name arises.I am contemplating starting a new blog which will solely be dedicated to the cause of Pofama.Pofama’s blog is so much like the writer.So wonderfully clumsy.Almost a year into existence, the blog roll still remains incomplete with WordPress.org and WordPress.com still finding mention in it(The Founders will be really proud).What strikes you  immediately about this indolent beauty is that, the first post came on the 9th of March 2009 and the third post which quite fortunately happens to be his last, came on the 14th of February 2010 which incidently happened to be Valentines day(Probably he realized his blog is the only thing could even remotely claim to be his valentine).

As long as MTV remains everything but a music channel my Blog shall be flooded with you, my brother.

On a slightly more serious note the bugger should take up blogging more seriously and as Pratap put it, the War of Blogs between us should continue.(Considering the mutual loathe we share, that should be motive enough for you to take up blogging seriously)

Pratap Kaul

Legend.Padma Vibhushan of Blogging world for sure.If at all I were to start a blogger awards, I would certainly have a Pratap Kaul award or even a life time achievement award named after him.He shouldn’t be surprised if people came up with ‘Main aapka blog padhke bada hua hoon’ type lines et all.

Preeti Ramaraj

A very ‘Nicey Nice’ blog.Started off as this ‘Rambling of an Engineer’ blog and is now slowly growing into this personal space.Again, has a very nice habbit of regularly writing.Can get you reminiscing.Good going di!

Rahul Goswami

With a blog title like ‘Love you life’ and liferocks in your link name you know you are in for a very joyful read.A very expressive blog and makes some really pleasant read.

Rishkul Kulkarni

A beauty this one.Perfectly quite otherwise in real and brilliantly vocal in his blog.Posseses the most supreme writing skills.I will some day start an annanymous publishing house and get an autographed book by him.Top Gun.

Rohit Ajitkumar

Have very recently started reading him and quite habitually now.Probably the most regular and assorted writer around.I bet every one has something to follow in his blog.Also has some great references to provide.Quite a legend actually.

Ruchita Raut

Very recently started.She should make quite an interesting writer.Looking forward to a lot of reads from her.

Shilpa Sreekrishnan

Again very expressive it is.She really makes some amusing reads.Only if she got off the Pofama syndrome too.Please resume writing di.

Shraddha Shah

Frankly speaking I am yet to catch up with this one on a regular basis.Her presence lower down the order in my Blog roll and WordPress’ inability to update about others updates among many others to be blamed partly.The writer is quite an adventurous person and has artistic inclinations.Things pretty much I can relate to.Extremely Sorry ma’am.Big time amends promised.

Sinan Kadavat

The most eccentric blogger I have ever come across.Actually, the most eccentric person I have ever come across.I have this penchant for eccentric minds.Why he decided to delete all those extremely wonderful pieces of literary art still remains of the biggest mysteries of our time.God bless you da!Cheers!

Srinath Warrier

Again, quite unfair it would be to pass judgement.I haven’t read much.’Forever TE’ phenomenon ( A Kamat creation) doesn’t really permit a lot of reads.But feels real great to see so many prospects among juniors too.Great going, people!

Sumiran Shah

This guy is Rishkulisque.Nicely quite otherwise and wonderfully expressive in his rants.He makes some really interesting reads.Trust me.It should grow into one real good blog.

Tanush Parihar

I have this nice sense of creative understanding with him and also a sense of admiration for his creative work.Regular updates should be a treat.Please take note.

Varun Nadkarni

Quite an arousing link name he has.Update kiya karo bhaijaan!

Yugandhar Garde

Veteran.I guess there is something about quite people making nice writers.Quite an assorted blog.Poems.Pictures.Fables.Also has quite a nicely decorated blog.While reading, I’m doing the staring for once.

Thats about it.Hum bolega toh bologe ki bolta hai..

Thanks for the complex that you all induce.Cheers!

Whats in a hair?

For quite some time now I have been subject of social ridicule and just like I find the concept of 12’o clock Birthday wishes, I find such display of disdain atrocious too.I mean, how much of a concern can a lanky, vile and absolutely good for nothing soul and his equally inconsequential  hair be?What on earth happened to Global Warming, Obama’s nostril hair and all other grave issues?

I’l tell you what we need to indeed worry about.

1-Kim Kardashian not coming up with any home video off late.

2-Facebook  apparently ‘changing’ its look once again.

3-Some million Africans and Indians dying every year due to lack of food.

4-Consider Pranav Rajgopal’s role in the above.

5-Pranav Rajgopal himself.

6-Me losing my Ray-Ban and being offered false sympathies in quizzes.

7-People having had 30,000 tweets and to still claiming to have a life.

8-The iPhone not being made free for the sake of humanity.

9-People still reading this abominable blog.

10-Why Avatar dint manage a single nomination this Filmfare awards.

“Why do you wish to look like this ?”.Very intellectual question to be subjected to I must say.And a very dunce like answer I have.

“Why not look like this ?” “Why do I need to look good ?”  “Why do I even need to look not-bad ?”

I have absolutely no interest in looking like a certain Vijeta certified pretty.I am quite content to be in the ugly category which I quite honourably share with Mr Rishkul Kulkarni.

One needs to understand that after these 2 hopefully final years of Engineering is done with, I have absolutely no hope of ‘experimenting’ with facial hair and the one on my scalp.That is unless my boss decides to post me as a clerk or something.It has been a childhood ambition to have long locks, which for a while, was dashed after Captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni came up with some weird looking hair like structure on his head.

So now that I finally managed to go against all prejudices of the society and that of South-Indian parents which quite immediately deserves humanitarian recognition, let me savour this moment of realization.

As a certain Sheikh Spear said:

“Whats in a hair ?”

Seekha! Na Na Na Na Na re Na re Na re…

Yes I have officially lost even the slightest bit of sense that found place behind that ambitious pony tail.This is what a 8 day Snow Yatra with 180+ Photograph crazy people on board can do to you.Listing conclusions that came from it.

1-Mumbai University ain’t as bad it is made to be.We at IEEE owe a lot to the great body.If not for their last minute postponement of FE Mechanical exams, another addition of 50+ beings would have made it to the trip.And if that had to be, I swear to lord, all of us at the committee would have quit living and retired to the Himalayas by now.

2-No wonder a certain Phunsuk Wangdu is the only academic achievement of the North.I mean how on Earth can one manage to study in such a pleasant climate?

3-Photography, apart from Sex obviously seems to be every human’s supreme purpose of life.People spend more time in Photographing than actually living the place.I can bet my life on it.Also the typical poses(Chin-Supported-on hand-types), I reckon, is here to stay for as long as Christianity exists.

4-SE Electrical is hopelessly Nice.Have absolutely no dramatic tales to speak of them.Well behaved buggers.

5-I have an interesting proposal for all business minded North-Indians settled in Bombay.Starting a Gola business in Manali ain’t a bad option after all.Boundless stalk of already grated ice.Less labour.

6-As much people in Manali as much is the population of Chakala alone.

7-Punjabis actually have that accent.

8-No one on Planet Earth or Pandora can make Foul language sound as cool as Punjabis.

9-I can now empathize with Pranav Rajgopal.5 Layers of clothing was horrible.Imagine what 5 layers of fat can do?!

10-Snow fall is just like we saw it on Cartoon Network.And this time there were cartoons all around too.

11-Stuffing 11 committee members, each with a good appetite in the same room ain’t the best of ideas after all.

12-I simply can’t express the joy that overwhelmed me when I went on that alcohol raid.Even ACP Praduman from the prehistoric show CID would be a happy and proud man.

13-TC should never be used as an abbrev for ‘Take care’ anymore.At least not to an IEEE or CSI member.

14-No wonder they don’t have amusement parks there.Have you seen the way the Bus drivers drive?

15-And lastly..Ae Dil.. Hai Mushkil.. Jeena Yahaan..Zara Hatke..Zara Bachke..Yeh Hai Mumbai meri Jaan..

Please note.Credit for the the photographs below and many more to come in the future, solely belongs to the man they call Shreyans Mulkutkar.The man is also responsible for making me look decent enough in images which in itself deserves a Nobel recognition.